But enough about Princess P or she'll start getting all conceited and what not (not that she already isn't and all *snap fingers*).
Of all her 1000 servants, the princess had a favourite maid named Mentosina.She was the sweetest little thing in the whole kingdom and did her work very obediently.
Mentosina was given 'special treatment' by her because of that-not that the princess was really really good to her, i mean she still gets pushed around and all-but yeah she has it way better than the other servants, the poor saps.
King: i dunno.Uhh, thirty three? Thirty four, five maybe?
Q: Well anyway, thirtyish.i was thinking, its high time she got married now, don't you?
K:Eh,well i guess so, ye-es.
Q: i mean, we wouldn't want her to live alone all her life would we?
K:Lonely, i'm mister lonely...
Q: KINGSTER! Are you listening to me???
Q: But how? How are we gonna trap *ahem* i mean "select" a suitable husband for our little darling?
K:Umm, she's like not little anymore?!
K:Portia-she's not little anymore.You called her a little girl just now but she's not little anymore.
Q:Well yeah but she's still our baby girl.
Q:i can't help ok.Old habits die hard.We've been calling her that since she was born.
K:Like like whatever!
Q:Like like like like whatever!
K:Like x1000 whatever!
Q:Look can we just get back to the topic???
So the royal family organised a big fat ball.
No, not a ball ball! A banquet ball. And so they planned a ball (what's new? =_=) and invited all the men of the kingdom to choose a suitable groom for Princess P.The palace servants ran about like mad, getting ready for the event-decorating the hall, preparing the food,making the princess' gown and all that.Everyone was seriously busy.Some even dropped dead from the exhaustion of slave labour *cough cough*...i meant work.
Soon, [yeah, & i mean the very next day], the time came for the ball [banquet: for those who still don't get it] came. So many guests arrived for the "joyous"occasion; mostly men (to marry Princess P for her $$$), some family members ("obliged" to attend, just to be polite), some nosy housewives who wanna check out who the princess would pick (so they could exchange the already what each would already know to each other-the fun is in the act of gossiping), some officially licensed kepo organisations like:
The guests were herded into the banquet hall like zombie sheep in a pen and the party BEGAN! Let's dance get, get on the floor don't need to hold back...Night fever, night fever...Boogie Woogie!
Pretty gorgeous eh?That's the magic of make-up.Hollywood's greatest secret.Mentosina slipped into the hall quietly.
Suddenly, there came the sound of loud trumpets blasting & deafening everyone's ears. Announcing the presence of Princess P! Oooh, Aaaah! Everyone gasped and cooed over the Princess & her gorgeous look-the belle of the ball. She had on a white, majestic gown...a wedding gown (tres desperate!) HO yeah, that conveyed the message alright.She certainly knew how to grab attention.
So everyone continued partying and the princess was enjoying herself thoroughly. Then, out of the corner of her eyes, the princess saw someone. OMG!!! He's sooo CUTE! What a dreamboat *SIGH*. Immediately, the princess went up to him & like 'Hiiiiiiiii, i'm lik Princess Portia.i was like just partiing n' all wen i lik saw u acros da room. You're lyke sooo qute! Do ya like hav a name?...like?' , the princess drawled in her Stupid-Girl voice (UUUGGHHHHH!)
'Er yeah, i know who you are...will you excuse me, please'
'Sure hahaHA' said the princess, tittering.
The prince had actually spied someone else in the hall.A very beautiful, sweet-looking girl.No prizes for guessing who it is. & no its not the Queen. He made his way to.......... !!! Mentosina !!! 'Hi, i'm Prince Charming.What is your name?'
'i'm Mentosina', said the little maid, blushing. 'Are you really a prince?'
'Oh, no.It's actually my name. Umm, hehe, some problem at the birth registration department'
'So uhh, wanna dance?' asked PC(K).
Meanwhile, Princess P made her way to her parents who were entertaining guests. 'Mum, Dad, i've found him. i've found my Prince Charming...no i mean seriously, his name is Prince Charming.'
King: That's strange.i don't remember having a son named Charming.
Queen: That's right, me neither.Then again we have so many sons (100 remember?) it's hard to keep track.We certainly wouldn't want you to end up marrying your own brother! [incest??? Eewkadoo!!!]
Princess: i dunno. i don't remember seeing him in the palace before.
Q: That's strange.How can anyone catwalk around with a royal title to his name if he's not of the royal family?
K: Hmm, could be a mistake down at the birth registration department.
P: Who cares, people? Seriously. i wanna get married-NOW!
K: Alright, honey.Chill.Where's the priest anyway?Priest? Priesty?
Q: Where is that young man by the way dear?
P: Over there.See?
K: Well, he certainly looks a dashing young fellow.
Q: Whoa, he's HOT!
The princess ran to Prince Charming and grabbed his arm. 'Come on,Prince Charming.We're getting married'. 'What???WTH', said PC(K). 'What?', said Mentosina. 'What?', went the crowd.
'i thought he is a prince.How can the princess marry her own brother?' asked someone amongst the crowd. 'No, i heard it's a blunder down at the birth registration department'. 'Ohhh.' 'Duh, incest??? Eewkadoo'
Prince Charming found himself facing the Priest who appeared like out of nowhere. 'Dearly beloved',said the priest.'We are gathered here, to witness in holy macaroni, the union of the princess and her Prince Charming. Princess Portia, do you take Prince Charming to be your lawful wedded husband?'
'Do i??? DUH!!!'
'& do you Prince Charming, take Princess Portia to be your lawful wedded wife?'
'i...uhh...i', he stared at all the faces around him.Everyone had big stupid smiles on their faces.'i...i DON'T! That's right, you heard me Miss Bossy. i'm in love with someone else.'
*GASPS around the room*
'i'm in love with her', PC(K) pointed. 'Mentosina.'
'WHAT?????????' You would choose my maid over ME?' yelled the princess.
'Oh she's your maid? i didn't know. In that case, i hope you will end your contract with her coz i intend to marry her', said PC(K).
Prince Charming ran towards Mentosina and got down on one knee.'Mentosina, will you marry me?'
*Ohhh* went everyone.
'Yes', Mentosina replied.
'Great then.Lets go', PC(K) grabbed her arm and they both ran to a window in the hall. They broke through the glass and hurled themselves down the who-knows-how-many-metres-high-mountain on which the castle was situated.
Everyone just stared at the broken window. And they stared.And they stared.And they stared.
*** TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT ***
Mentosina and Prince Charming got married and had their own little mentos children.They lived happily ever after.And after Prince Charming died [he died at sea. Freak submarine accident. Didn't you notice the admiral uniform he was wearing? that means you haven't been paying attention to the narrator! What an insult!], Mentosina dropped the blue sapphire necklace into the very exact spot he died at sea, when she was on a cruise boat. *Cue: Titanic music*
And when they were giving out those little golden stars which they so freely give out at the Naval Embassy, the people in charge, big bosses, administrators, whatever you call them, said: 'He was a prince? We didn't know that.' - 'Oh, no actually it was some typo error at the birth registration department.'
~Narrated by, yours truly~