December 5, 2008

Where are the fire hydrants? (Post about dogs. syok sendiri)

Since i have nothing else to ramble about, i'll ramble about my favourite animals - dogs. How can you not love them yo?

i love:
w Their heartbreaking puppy face they pull to con you into getting anything they want
w The way they eat all over the place
w The way they bark and jump all over your designer pants with their muddy paws when you come home from work
w The ticks behind their ears
w The way they sniff around and sniff each other's butts
w When they attack anything that moves
w The way they run and hide from cats, especially when they're puppies
w The way they pee on fire hydrants and drink from toilet bowls (myth)
w Run in circles, chasing their tails
w They keep you up all night whining and barking...ok no wait. i don't love that.
w Their obsessive clingy behaviour

OK. So anyways, i was on MSN with Ju Enn and we were harping about dogs and how indispensable they totally are. Dolphins may be smart, rabbits may be furry, cats may be sexy, & monkeys may be playful; but there's no such thing as a substitute for dogs. Dig it! Swallow it! Ju Enn has a poodle *currently* and i had *sob* a German Shepherd. Nice. Both are on the list of Top 10 Most Intelligent Dogs with poodles at #2, & G.Sheps at #3. And yes, people. Poodles are the 2nd most intelligent dog in the WORLD. Brains & Beauty. Lethal combination. No wonder they're famous killer dogs. They lost the #1 crown to border collies. O.O

So here's newsflash about some doggy info:

i'll start with my all time favourite, Beagles. Beagles are small/medium hounds, used for hunting. They have a razor sharp sense of smell and an easygoing nature. And they're way cute! Compliments aside, they're #9 on the list of Top 10 Least Intelligents Dogs. At least they're not #1. Haha. That spot belongs to Afghan hounds. Hoho. It's not that they're stupid, really. And i'm not just making excuses for my favourite. They have really short attention spans (like me) and therefore are really hard to train. They're very independent and like to do what fancies them so training can really drive you up the wall. But but BUT, they are cute and cuddly. Tell me they're not, i dare you!
Look at that face! ooooooh i just wanna pinch it and eat it.

Hah! Faking angelism. Inside is a little monster just waiting to chew your Manolo Blahniks...and that's totally fine by me <3>

Odie the Beagle from Garfield. Who would have thought Odie was a Beagle. He doesn't look it. And truth be told, Beagles aren't very good with cats. They're supposed to be sworn enemies. But they'll be alright if they grow up together. You just have to introduce them during their wonder years.

Is it me, or do icon Beagles look nothing like real Beagles? Apparently Snoopy is a Beagle too. Haha weirded. i picked this picture coz he looks superbly cute in aviator gear. *Whooosh*
Alright. Let's move on to daschunds. If you don't like dogs, you have to love daschunds. The famous hotdogs. Haha. All you gotta do is chop of their heads and their tails and they look exactly like furry wieners. They should make the crew of 1901 dress up in daschund minus the fur, else the health inspectors shut down the establishment. i chose to include them coz my Grandma has a daschund. An unbelievably and incredibly stupid one that is. It used to belong to my cousin Chantelle. She told me he's been blur since the first day they got him from the pet shop. And get this, his name is *drum roll* *more drum roll* *drum roll frenzy* *drum roll beginning to piss you off* *drum roll stops...finally* Revelation!!! Haha. And all those going to Heaven say "HOLLA". OK drama queening stops like, now <---big alt="" border="0" fat="" fire="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5275987583451481634" img="" liar="" lie="" micro="" mini="" on="" src="" style="cursor: hand; display: block; height: 375px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 345px;">

Awww. Ooh, yum. Mustard and chilli. Don't forget the bun.

Right, and here's a very famous daschund. Slinky the stretch daschund toy from Toy Story

German Shepherd time. Yay! My Max comes to mind when i think of this ganasly huge dog. Haha. i remember getting him from the dog breeders. He got sick and puked in my car on the way to his new home. Poor baby. Hoho. Max is such a weirdo...strangely enough, just like his owners. Haha. It was my sister's suggestion to name him Max. i hated it at first coz it sounded so pfft cliché for a dog. But then i realised the name was perfect for him. He's such a Max! Maximum noise, Maximum action, not to mention Maximum poop. And he's a heavyweight German Shepherd that takes after the German heavyweight champion boxer, Max Schmeling (Schmeling rocks).

He was ok when he was a puppy. But he got incontrollable when he grew up. And he's frigging taller than me *oooh greenly jealous*. i remember one time...blah blah blah...grandmother ranting...blah blab blab...when he was a puppy, we were about to start a party in our house. The first guests were arriving and i had to move Max away in case he decided to attack anyone. So i was carrying him (and boy was he frigging heavy), and walking across the koi pond. He kept turning his head about, trying to blind my eyes with saliva, and i couldn't see where i was going. i almost fell head first into the damn pond. i did this funny foxtrot along the side of the pond trying to gain balance but it's so hard to see with his fur taking over my sight senses.
Hoho look at those satellite ears. By Gawd they're HUGE. Radar *beep beep* Intruder alert! Now you know why they're such good guard dogs.

A really (old) legendary G.Shep is Rin Tin Tin

Lookey what we have next. The Dobermann. Why? Coz it's Chantelle's favourite dog. And they're smart, energetic things. They go far in dog shows.

Sexy isn't it? Check out the buns on that thing. And the muscles are fine!

Here's what they look like when they're puppies. Usually owners pimp them up by docking their tails and cropping their ears, which i personally don't approve of. Cruel cruel. But shit happens, so nyeh. They're born with fairly long tails but it is surgically removed within days of the dog's birth, making it look like a bunny's bob. i'm like WTH? Are we breeding dogs here or rabbits?

Ear cropping refers to trimming off part of the animal's ears and propping them up with posts and tape bandages, which allows the cartilage to develop into an upright position as the puppy grows. Shit! *Oooooouuuuuch*

A famous Dobermann i know is Blitz from the cartoon Road Rovers. Remember that one? Or were you too busy watching Winnie the Pooh Monokurosucks and Hello Katty *ahem* Kitty? =_=

Don't get me wrong. i like other animals too. Just- not as much as canines. Cats are ok (sort of). i like the way they have a late-night get together singing. Reminds me of being in a slinky jazz club. Wait, that didn't come out right. *Howl at the moon*

Put this in just to get the message in your thick skulls

You're my Honeybun, Sugarplum
Pumpy-umpy-umpkin, You're my Sweetie Pie
You're my Cuppycake, Gumdrop
The apple of my Eye
And I love you so and I want you to know
That I'll always be right here
And I love to sing sweet songs to you
Because you are so dear

On a scale of expired to really expired how expired is this

Dudeit says since 1981 yo Very recent ah By your standardsla is it klaus cos you live forever Where thes stink is the expirey date W...