omgomgomgOMG!!!!! People people listen. i just found the funniest, awesomest blck&whte film E.V.E.R.... like ever ever ever. Seriously, you should watch it if it kills you to find it. It's called -The Smiling Lieutenant- It has a plot as corny as anything but forget that! It's so hilarious and at the same time, it can make you cry (sad cry, not happy cry). It tells of a Lieutenant Niki in Austria who meets a beautiful violinist, Franzi and they fall in love. One day, when the King of Flausenthurm (neighbouring country) visits the Austrian Emperor with his daughter, Princess Anna, fate literally shat on the poor Lieutenant Niki. He was supposed to be on the military welcoming committee. And as the royal carriage was passing by, Niki saw his beloved across the street and winked. Princess Anna caught his wink and thought it was directed at her. The King and princess were angry at his supposed impudence and summoned him to their quarters. By some horrible mistake, Princess Anna thought Niki was in love with her. Niki was ordered to marry her at once. Boy, was Niki bust. He had to move to Flausenthurm with his wife and the King. There, he was not happy because he misses Austria and doesn't love the princess. One day, he discovers that Franzi and her group of traveling musicians were performing in Flausenthurm. Thus begins an affair between them (i don't condone this btw). Naughty naughty! The princess discovers their affair and summons Franzi to the palace. But check this, Franzi and the princess became friends and the sexy violinist teaches her how to be the opposite of her dowdy self to win the affections of her husband. i love it! When Franzi's work was done, she bid Princess Anna goodbye and best wishes. Niki, when he saw his transformed, now drop-dead-gorgeous wife finally falls in love with her.
Sad part: When Franzi finds out Niki's predicament and decides to quietly leave him. When the carriage sending him home arrives at his doorstep, Franzi (who lives in) quickly packs and writes him a goodbye note. She leaves one of her garters for him to remember her by.
Funny parts (just about everything):
1. When Niki finds out he has to marry Princess Anna (did you see his face? Hahaha)
2. The royal courtiers are getting the bedroom ready for the bride and groom. Their methodical preparation is enough to draw laughs. Then the announcers says "i now declare the royal bedchamber, a bedchamber".
3. Outside the room, other courtiers announce, "we declare this royal wedding day, a royal wedding night".
4. Niki kissed the King and said "That's as far as i'll go", when he refused to sleep with the princess.
5. The King enters their bedroom and finds Anna after Niki her. He carried a checkers set to take her mind off things. omg this part is damn funny. *well if he won't sleep with you, lets play checkers!*
6. In the dining hall, the King, princess and Niki are eating schnitzel out of a cow the princess had specially ordered from Austria. Niki says "Poor cow. To start life in Vienna and end it in Flausenthurm". He gets up to leave and says "As a gentleman, i say thank you. As a Viennese, i say Moooooooooooooo".
7. Niki is on top of the moon when he returns to the castle after a rondezvous with Franzi and when he bumps into the King and Princess Anna he sings and dances with Anna. They were both elated. Anna: "He danced with me". King: "And he called me Daddy."
8. After Anna has been hotified, Niki hears jazz on the piano and he runs to her bedroom they were supposed to share but he refused. He saw her new hot self and runs back to his own chamber to check if the wine he drank earlier was expired.